Monday, December 27, 2010

HE'S HERE, HE'S HERE!!!

I am LOVING every second of being a mother! I want to soak up every minute of it before he grows up... Such a depressing thought...
We are incredibly happy and are so in love with our son. I will post the story and everything else very soon!!! It's time for me to feed my child but I will leave you with these few picture until I get back on here and blog again soon!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

36 weeks and ready to go!!!


Just got a call to come in to the hospital at 2:00 this afternoon instead of 9:00 tonight!
I have never experienced this many emotions at one time.
I am so overly excited that I can hardly concentrate on anything. Good thing my bag is already packed!
i am just waiting for your dad to get home and then we are getting lunch and heading to the hospital... wow! I can't believe this is happening!!!
I will see you tomorrow little guy! TOMORROW!!!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Ultra Sound

Dear Winston,
This morning I woke up and immediately vomited for no reason. I did this exact same thing the morning I got married. I think that my body does this before a seriously life changing event... Um... Moving on.
We had your last ultra sound today! I am so happy to report that you are doing so good! You were measuring at 5 pounds and 10 ounces which kind of scares me because I don't have a single thing to fit you. I really did not think that you would be so tiny! You would not for one second move your hands away from your face so we did not get to see your cute little nose or lips. But, we will soon enough.  We did however see that you are practicing breathing which is a very good thing!
So, if everything goes to plan and my Dr. is still up for it, tomorrow is the day we get everything started! I am so excited!!! By this time next week you will be here... :)
So, on Thursday evening your uncle Cole went through the temple for the first time. After going through, him, my dad, and your dad came over to give me a blessing. (This was all before we knew that I would be induced). In the blessing that your father gave me he blessed that you of course would be healthy and strong and he said many other wonderful things. One phrase that he kept repeating was "please bless Emily is these FINAL DAYS of her pregnancy..." And I remember thinking, "Days? He must mean weeks because there is no way I am having this baby that early." I was wrong... :) Oh what a wonderful thing the priesthood is! I know that was an inspired blessing from Heavenly Father and he knows me and is aware of my situation. If there is one thing that I hope you learn while on this earth it is to love the Savior and our Heavenly Father. If you love them and put them first you will be so blessed and have so much happiness.
Winston, I can't believe how much your dad and I already love you. You have already changed our lives so much. We can't wait to meet you and have your sweet spirit in our home! This really is the best Christmas I could ever hope for.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Just some thoughts.

Now that this pregnancy is about to come to a close (CRAZY!!!) I have been doing a lot of reflecting on the past 9 or so months. I have decided that there are some things that I am going to miss about pregnancy...
- Like feeling my baby move and always knowing that he is there inside of me safe and warm.
- My stretchy pants that I don't have to button or zip.
- I am going to miss how fast my hair has grown. It is like a weed!
- Oddly enough (this one is going to shock my husband) I am going to miss trying to find clothes to wear with my new accessory, the bump.
- I am going to miss the way that people treat me (kind of). For example, I will  miss that I always get first dibs on seats and if anyone ever has left over food guess who is the first person to get offered some?
- Speaking of food I am going to miss getting to eat pretty much anything I want and saying "baby wants it" or "I am totally craving this right now!"
- I am going to miss being able to use the "I'm pregnant" excuse every time I do something stupid or forget something.

I feel like this time being pregnant has flown by! I told Steven last night that I might even do this whole pregnancy thing again someday... :) Hopefully we will be little better at planning next time around.

With all the things I am going to miss about pregnancy there are for sure more things that I am looking forward to with not being pregnant...
-Like having a brand new baby here straight from heaven.
- Getting to snuggle him and dress him.
- Getting to see Steven as a dad.
- Getting be  MOM!... and so on
and now on to more vain things...
- I am excited to have my body back! I know this one may take a while but I am looking forward to it.
- I am excited to be able to shave my legs without having a bump in the way and having to manuver around it.
- I am excited to no longer have horrendous heart burn or the ridiculous hair that has been covering my body or basically any of the pregnancy symptoms that are no fun.
- I AM EXCITED TO SLEEP ON MY STOMACH!!!
I know that I am forgetting tons of things in all catergories but I wanted to get this out before I forgot about it!
I am having a really hard time sleeping. Not just because I am so uncomfortable but because I am so sticking excited!!! My mind has way too much to think about to sleep! Just a few more days!!!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

36 Weeks- The final days

Dear Winston,
I just got back from the hospital to get more testing done. My body really hates being pregnant now.
When I first got into triage and had my blood pressure taken it was 150 over 104. Luckily though it steadily went down a little once I got onto my side.
My doctor came in to see me and decided that instead of waiting for me to get really sick she was just going to induce me to not risk the complications that could come.
I am now dialated to a 1 and you head is really low. That makes it really uncomfortable for me but at least things are progressing before I get induced.
I have an ultra sound on Monday morning and if everything with you looks good I am going to start the process of being induced on Tuesday the 21st at 9:00 PM and you will probably be here on Wednesday the 22! I can't even believe it!
You are going to be about a week old for the baby shower... Poor, poor planning...
I am glad though that most of my family will be in town and you will be here for Christmas!! CRAZY!!!
Since being on bed rest my friends and family have been so amazing!
Joni and Hailee have been keeping me company so I don't go too crazy and last night we had some friends over for games for Hailee's husbands Birthday. It was wonderful!
My mom has been especially helpful. I have been calling her for just about anything and everything. I love that my mom is a labor and delivery nurse and really knows her stuff. Yesterday she came over and gave me pedicure! With a foot scrub/ massage, paint, flowers and the works. I can't believe she was even brave enough to go near my feet. I am really, really grateful though that she did because my feet needed some attention BADLY. It's only over a year since I last had a pedicure...
Now, I am not going to lie. I am scared out of my mind. Your dad, however is all smiles and SO, SO excited. I love him. He helps me to stay calm.
I can't believe that by this time next week you will be here and I will be a mom! Now I don't feel so bad that I was not able to finish Christmas shopping before getting put on bed rest. Having you will be the most amazing Christmas present in the world... Now I just need to figure out how I am going to top that for next year.

Pictures taken by Larry Reeves.
Me at 30 ish weeks

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Dr. Appointment- 35 weeks

Alright Winston.
How do I go my whole pregnancy perfectly healthy and fine and then BAM! all of a sudden my body hates being pregnant?
Yesterday I had another Dr.s appointment. I am going to try to explain what I learned as much as possible.
So, my blood pressure is still high, and I just found out that I have a little protein in my urine. At this point I am on the fast track to developing preeclampsia .
Dr.s orders I have to be on my side 100% of the time... I am not sure how on earth I am going to do that...
The point of me going to bed rest is to put off getting sicker for as long as I can because I soon as I do get sicker, you are coming out and you need to bake a little longer.
I have to go the hospital every couple days to have my blood pressure, blood and urine tested and as soon as they indicate that I have preeclampsia I am getting induced.
Also, I have an ultra sound on Monday morning to make sure that you are still doing good and if there is anything wrong with you... you guessed it, I am getting induced!
The only way for me not to be sick anymore is to have you. So, you staying in me longer is good for you, but bad for me. If I get too sick however, it could be bad for both of us... UH!
This pregnancy stuff is so weird! I just want you to be healthy!
Sitting on the couch all day has not been too bad. I have watched all the seasons of cake boss, re watched most of arrested development, and crocheted so much my hands hurt.
Sometimes I just get a little lonely, and hungry... Thank goodness I have friends that come to visit me and bring me food! What a lucky girl I am.
Winston, I love you... Just be healthy!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Bed rest

Dear Winston,

Yesterday was a little bit of a sad day. I went to the doctor for a regular appointment and found out (once again) that my blood pressure was high. About 140 over 98...  I was immediately sent back to the hospital to get monitored and get more testing done.
The final conclusion? BED REST.
I cried a little bit when I found out.
With it being the holidays and with you coming much sooner than anticipated there is still so much that I need to do... But if I can't do it from a computer, it's not gonna get done.
I will find out more information at my next Dr. appointment on Wednesday but at this point you are completely healthy and I am so glad for that! I will do anything to make sure that you are good and safe and stay in for as long as you can!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Pregnant Feet

Yes, I know my feet are gross. Someone (that would be me) needs a pedi pronto!

Yesterday I sent this picture to my mom.
She was at work (as a labor and delivery nurse at the hospital I am delivering you in) and she told me that I needed to come in immediately and have my blood pressure taken. I guess that she thought my feet  and ankles looked a little swollen???

So, on my lunch break I made the trip down to the hospital to get my blood pressure taken (mostly to please my mom). I thought it would be a short little nothing and I could grab some food, and be back to work before my hour lunch break was over.
I walked into the hospital lobby and waited for my mom to come take my BP. She took it and discovered that it was high for me. Then she continued to gawk at how swollen my feet, hands, and face were. It was awesome.
From there my mom suggested that I go over to triage to have some tests done...
So I headed into triage and got a little comfyy room. I got hooked up to a machine that monitored you and me and I also had my blood pressure taken every few minutes.
After a few minutes of getting settled in the room my nurse walked back in and looked at the screen that was monitoring me.
She told me that aapparently I had three contractions in a row without even realizing it. I continued to have contractions until I was given a shot and an IV.
Getting the IV was a little tricky. Since I was so swollen, they could not find a vien in my writs. Luckily though I had one vein that was shouting "pick me, pick me" in my right hand so I didn't have to get poked again and again.
I had some tests done and it turns out that I have a little infection that was was causing the contractions that I am now taking medication for.
Besides having the high BP I am still not exactly sure what caused the swelling of my body and considering that I am still swollen, I think this just might be something that I am going to have to deal with till the end of this pregnancy. The good news is that you are still doing great! You were moving around and kicking like crazy.
Even though I may have protested at first, I am certainly glad I went. I learned my lesson and will be much more careful from now on! I want you to be a big chunky baby and that's not gonna happen if I don't take care of myself and get you to bake longer.
So, for being my first little hospital visit/ scare since being pregnant it was not that bad. I just hope I don't have to go back till January!
(Or at least after my baby shower...)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Some things you should know.

Dear Winston,

People say funny things to you when you are pregnant. Some of these things are worth documenting. Maybe someday you can look back at these and laugh but more than anything I hope that you learn what not to say to a pregnant women (or just me when I'm pregnant).

1. Don't complain about how tired you are or how much your body aches around me when I am pregnant.
Now, I am not completely crazy and I know that peoples bodies still hurt and people still get tired when they are not pregnant but... please don't come to me to complain about it.

2. Don't tell a pregnant women that she looks like she is about to "POP!" especially if she is a month or two away from her due date. That will only make her want to punch you.

3. Along the same lines as the last one don't tell a pregnant women that she is way too small to be that far along. When it really comes down to it you can only control so much of how your body grows when it is pregnant. Everyone is different and bellies grow differently.

4. If you see that a pregnant women has food (or anything else) on the bottom of her shirt, tell her. I would really appreciate it if someone would let me know when I am walking around with crap on my shirt. When your stomach sticks out it is nearly impossible to see the bottom of your shirt unless you lift your shirt up to look at it and that can very unlady like.
I feel like I have no control over what my stomach does and by the end of the day, when I take my clothes off, I find that my stomach has been dipped into all different kinds of food without my knowledge. It's wonderful.

5. If you know any horror stories about pregnancy, miscarriages, or labor DO NOT SHARE THESE WITH A PREGNANT WOMAN. 
I don't know why people do this! The very second I started to let people know that I was pregnant they wanted to share with me the most horrific stories of pregnancy that they could think of... which in turn made me even more paranoid about everything.
If you have any stories about women who had the best pregnancy and enjoyed labor more than anything in the world and had perfect babies who slept through the night as soon as they got home please share THOSE stories with me. Thank you.

Everyday at work everyone feels the need to comment on how my stomach looks that day. It was cute at first, really, it was.  But now I feel like I am going to be examined and judged when I come into work everyday and it kind of makes me uncomfortable.
Here is an example of what happens...
I walk into work after my lunch break and walk by a group of women talking. One of them will stop me and the women will stand back, and stare at me. Then one by one they will start commenting.
Saying things like,
"Oh, you got much bigger after lunch."
" You look like you are getting really close."
"I bet you are peeing a lot now."
"I remember when I was pregnant... "Cue random story.
"You are way too small to be that far along. You should eat more."

These are really things that people have said to me since being pregnant. The last one is my least favorite. Well, pretty much any comment about my size (unless it's my Dr. who actually knows) does not make me super happy. Unless you follow it up with a, "wow, you really look great!"

To end this rant I want to share with you a little story about my Wal Mart experience.
One night Steven and I were checking out of Walmart and the lady on the register just stared at me.
Finally, as we were about to leave she says,
"Are you really pregnant or are you just wearing a shirt that makes you look like you are?"
Now, in her defense I have seen plenty of girls and wondered the same exact thing. However, I would never dream of asking them.
I kind of admire her forwardness... However awkward it may have been.

Now, if you want to make me really happy, say these things to me,

1. You are really glowing!
Not really even sure what this means but I know it is something good so I will take it!

2. You are probably really tired. Why don't you sit down while I rub your feet and back?... That one does not happen nearly as often as I would like.

3. Your have the perfect pregnant belly!

4. Pregnancy really suits you.

5. You are the most beautiful pregnant women in the whole world!... too much?

Winston, I want to remember these things for when your wife is pregnant (in many, many years from now).
I love you Winston. I can not wait to meet you!!!
We bought you a crib and I am so, so, so excited for it to get here and to set it up!!! I hope that you are getting ready because we sure are!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Just thinking...

Hey Winston,

See you next month!

(Feels so weird/ good to say that!)

Monday, November 29, 2010

Back track: 31 weeks round

back tracking a little bit... I have been horrible at documenting my growing belly. This picture was taken 2 weeks ago (pre Thanksgiving meal) and you bet that I have grown since then.
I can now feel my body start to prepare in little ways for your entry into this world. I can also feel you practicing your boxing moves to prepare your body for its entry into this world.
I have become such a boob lately.
Yesterday, at church, we sat next to a couple who had a brand new baby girl. When they pulled her up from her car seat and held her, I started crying... I can't believe that I am going to have a baby of own.
It is an overwhelming feeling in so many ways.
Your dad and I still get a kick out of watching your little body parts move across my belly. Even though it is still weird, and kind of creepy, it is fun to watch.
This weekend we decided that we are going to make a trip to Utah for your dad's best friends babies blessing. We were advised to fly from my Dr. but... flights are ridiculously expensive and we, unfortunately, are not made of money.  My Dr. said that as long as I stop every hour and walk a little bit blood clots will not be a problem and my body should be fine. It's going to be a loooong drive. We are going up on Friday at 5:00PM and coming home Sunday after the blessing...  I am probably not going to be working on Monday. It's all worth it though! We can't wait to see our friends and baby Colin.
BTW, Winston. We went a little crazy and bought you a ridiculous amounts of clothes! You are going to be so stylish. I can't wait to dress you! Everyone says that shopping for boys is not as fun but... I have been enjoying shopping for you a bit more than I should! You lucky, lucky boy.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Name

Dear baby,

I have been going back and forth on if I should post this or not...
We have name for you! We have had it for quite a while but for some reason your dad is waiting for me to change it. The last few days I have been looking up other names to see if I liked anything better. While there are some that I think are cute, I could not find another one that I could imagine myself calling you. So, before I reveal what your name is I want to tell you our criteria for picking one out.

We wanted to give you a name that was strong. A name that means something.
We wanted it to be a name that is heard of but not common (Name association could be a bad thing).
I did not want you to have a name that could in any way be confused for a girls name.

Ok, now that that is out of the way I will tell you where we got your middle name.
Your middle name comes from your dads uncle (or your great- uncle) who your dad admired. I never had the chance to meet him since he passed away a few years ago, but you should be proud to have his name. From what I hear he was a remarkable person.
Now, on to your first name.
One night your dad and I went out to dinner at YC's. After we got our meal and sat down the subject of names came up again. At this point any time we played "the name game" we got angry at each other and things never ended well. For some reason this night was different. Steven started to throw out names of some influential people/ leaders in the world that he admired. He came across one that I loved. I told him so and he said he too loved it. Since this was The FIRST name that we both agreed on I said, OK, that's it! That is his name.
We have been calling you by that name since that day and I can't imagine it being any different.
OK, now that that is out of the way.... your name is...
Winston David Hale
Now, technically your name could change up until the point that you are born (which is what your dad is afraid of) but I don't anticipate that happening. I love the name.
We have, however, had a few haters and nick name maker uppers but... We see through all that.
We love you Winston! We are so happy and excited (and a lot nervous) that you are joining our family and that Heavenly Father has trusted us with you. This is going to be a fun ride.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Dear Baby,

Congratulations! You have officially discovered my rib cage... Your new favorite thing to do is put your feet on the right side of rib cage and your hands on the left side of my lower belly and then you stretch and push with all your might. You are so strong and I love it!
You move the most when you hear music (you really are my kid!). Last night your dad and I went to a local orchestra concert and you were going CRAZY the whole time. Steven could not believe how hard you were kicking and how much you were moving. As soon as the concert ended I'm sure you were pretty tuckered out and you stopped moving until I got in bed a little later.
You also wake up to the sound of Steven's alarm clock in the morning and even though I could sleep in an extra 30 minutes after Steven gets up you don't really let me. You just want to dance and I can't help but sit there for a while, with my hand on my stomach and I just feel you move. Such a great way to start the day.
You also LOVE church hymns. I love that you love hymns.  Every Sunday when we sing them it's like you get so excited to hear the hymns and you just can't contain yourself.
Last night your dad and I were talking about you and how it seems like you already have a personality... I know it sounds silly (since you aren't even born yet) but we like to believe it's true.
Yesterday I had another appointment. I now have a Dr.s Appointment every 2 weeks! That means it's starting to get close!!!
You did not get angry when this time when the Dr tried to hear your heart beat. You are getting so mature...
I found out that you are in the 57 percentile for your size, I have gained a total of 22 pounds since being pregnant, I do not have gestational diabetes, and I am still anemic... Over all it was a pretty good appointment. My Dr. even gave me a hug... It made me feel pretty good.
Alright baby, I should probably get going.
Love always! 

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dear Baby: 28 Weeks

I know I say this all the time but time is really flying!
Now, since you have been reading all about me up till this point I figured that now would be a good time to tell you a little more about your dad.
Last night Steven went and played basketball at the church and I stayed home to clean. I cleaned from the kitchen to your room and I started going through all your clothes... again (I didn't really get much cleaning done in your room). While I was sitting on your floor, day dreaming about you, I got a little too cozy and fell asleep.
Normally I like to stay up and wait for your dad but lately you have made me so darn tired and I couldn't help myself and somehow I made it from your room into my bed and I fell asleep again.
Not much later I heard the front door open and Steven started to call my name. He came into the room, sat right next to me and started to tell me about his day.
As we sat in bed Steven held me and told me how grateful he is for families, and how excited he is for you to come. It was such a tender moment.
Steven has had families and babies on his mind lately but especially the last few days.
Steven's best friend and wife had their first baby boy in Utah. We are so excited for you to meet him when you get here so the two of you can be best friends! Steven is so beyond excited for his friends family and we cannot wait to meet the new baby fresh from Heaven.
I think the birth of Steven's best friends son made you even more real to him. The realization that we are soon going to be parents to care for you , teach you, and love you is finally setting in.
You are so lucky to have Steven as your dad.
He is so loving and generous. He might give you anything you want if you look at him the right way.
He loves to serve others, especially his family.
He is very talented and can teach you all kinds of neat things (If you want to know anything about sports always go to him, never me).
He is goofy and so fun.
He is smart and determined.
He is a hard worker and earns everything he has.
He has a deep love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He has a strong, deep testimony of him and our Heavenly Father.
He lived his life so that we could be married in the temple so that we could be a family forever. That is just about one of the most comforting blessings I can think of.
Baby, I want you to know that I love your dad. I am so blessed to have him in my life and I hope that you learn from his example.
Baby, you are so loved. We can't wait to meet you!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

26 Weeks- Your Face.

The other day I had to get another ultra sound to get a better look at your cute little face. Gooba goo.
At this point you are about 2 pounds... I am still trying to figure out why you only weigh 2 pounds yet I have put on 18... Anyways, your mug is adorable. I am guessing that you are going to have mommies nose and daddies lips. But, we will see!

"Oh hi everybody!"
We just moved into a "new to us" apartment. This apartment is the home that we will bring you to for the first time. (!) Since we just moved into our new place last night we have not set up anything in your room but it is so fun for me to imagine what it will be like when you are here occupying that room...
With my second trimester coming to an end I have noticed a few new pregnancy symptoms taking over my body.
A. My first experience with heart burn. Weird burning/ acid sensation I could definitely do without.
B. Sitting too long has always hurt my back but now my booty is suffering. Even driving home has become hard on my booty. ouch.
C. Sciatic nerve pain that can stop me in my tracks. Really, I feel 80 with the way I have been walking lately.
D. Swelling fingers, feet, and ankles. So pretty.
E. Crazy wispy baby hairs that I can't keep under control. 
F. My once cute inny belly button has been stretched and popped beyond recognition...
G. Don't even get me started on my mood swings or my night time sleeping (or lack of).

Despite all of these minor aches and pains and random body changes I LOVE being pregnant. I have felt so much joy while you have been growing. It is so strange to watch my body being taken over and do things that I have no control over but feeling you there and knowing that I am creating a nice home for you in my belly and that I will be seeing you soon makes it all worth it. I have really had such a smooth and awesome pregnancy compared to most and I am really thankful for that. It is amazing to see the Lords plan in my life. I am so blessed. You will always be our baby and your dad and I love you so much already.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

24 Weeks

Dear Baby,

I am sorry that I have been putting off writing on here for so long!
I can not believe how fast this pregnancy has gone! I always thought that pregnancy would drag on and on but really, it has been so fast and so wonderful. Besides the sickness early in my pregnancy, and the minor aches and pains I am feeling now (mainly in my lower back and ever stretching stomach) I have nothing to complain about.
The other night your dad and I were babysitting your 3 year old cousin Ella. When it was night time I got her dressed in her jammies, and had her pick out a few books for me to read to her. She went and sat in her bed and as I was getting ready to sit right next to her she looked at me and said,
"You're fat Emily."
I seriously laughed about that one for days.
I am getting big. My work pants are even snug when I leave the zipper down and do the rubber band trick, and my belly now catches all the food that does not make it to my mouth. It's awesome.
One of favorite things to do right now is lay down on my back with my head propped up and watch you kick away. It is so crazy that I can actually see my stomach move now when you kick it. Crazy I tell you!
We love you baby. I am so excited to see you and hold you!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

22 Weeks

Dear Baby,

It has been so fun to be able to feel you move around.  Although I am a little concered that you are so still during the day and CRAZY at night right when I am about drift off to dream land. Does this mean that you are going to be like this when you are born? Like a little owl. I sure hope not. Regardless, I love to feel you move! So does your dad. This part of my pregnancy has been the best so far.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

20 Weeks Ultra Sound

Dear Baby,

Here are some pictures of you! I may be a little biased but these are the cutest ultra sound pictures I have  ever seen...
Seriously, the one where I can see you profile and your hand is somewhere between your mouth and your eye and your little feet are kicked up, kills me. It is my favorite and it is currently the background on my cell phone. It makes me smile every time I see it.
Now, your dad gets kind of uncomfortable when I show people the picture below and he probably won't like that I am displaying this for all to see... come to think of it, you probably won't appreciate it when you are older either... But, I am posting it anyways!
 
(Arrows have been added by me! Just making sure no one missed anything...)


So... just in case you ever have any questions, you are DEFINITELY a boy. Wahoo!
LAST THING!
Your dad felt you move for the first time the other night! I interrupted his homework time to make him put his hand on my belly. I wish that I took a picture of his face when he felt you moving. It was priceless and unbelievably cute. You were only moving for a few seconds but I am so, so happy that we can both feel you now!
Oh, by the way you are super healthy and doing well. We are very lucky.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

19 weeks...

Dear baby,

Week 19 and almost half way done! Whew. I still can't believe it.
I am terrified. Absolutely terrified. Daily i do something(s) and I stop and think to myself,
"Crap. That is not going to make me a very good mother. I better fix that about myself." I am probably just being way too hard on myself but I want to be a wonderful mother and I don't feel like the person I am right now  is going to help to be the mother I want to be.
The good thing is that we can do a lot of learning together. You can learn new things about being in this world while I learn and adapt to being a mother.
I have been waiting for the opportunity to be a mother all my life but now that it is actually happening I feel like I am not ready. I need to be more for you and Steven and for myself. Good thing that you have some wonderful Grandmas, aunts and many others who love you that can help me mother you! What would I do without them?
I love thinking about you and the person that you are going to be. It's amazing how much we already love you.
Today we have another Dr.'s appointment! I can feel little movements from you but my mom said that it is just gas... I beg to differ. No one else can feel you yet when they put their hands to my stomach , but soon! I can't wait for your dad to be able to feel your little movements! Today at the Dr.'s appointment we are going to schedule another ultra sound! Everyone tells me that this ultra sound is "the fun one." In this ultra sound you are going to be measured in great detail to see how you are progressing (and we get to see if you still have little boy parts). 
Well baby, take care in there. We love you always!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

18 weeks

Baby,

Here we are at 16 weeks...
(this picture was taken in the bathroom at my work)

Now, these are not the best pictures to show how you have grown but I think they are pure fun.
18 weeks...
I know... that one IS kind of scary.

So, rumor has it that you can hear now!
The other day your dad made up a poem for you on the spot and sang it straight to you so that you could hear.
He's... ummm... pretty talented!
Most of the poem was about what we are going to name you which is something that we don't agree on.
We can't really talk about names right now. We don't get along when we do that.
Either way my nameless child,
we love you!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

You know you are pregnant when...

You know you are pregnant when you cry when your hair appointment gets cancelled... (true story).

Dear baby,

So many changes have been happening with you and everyday this whole "I'm going to be a mom" thing is becoming more and more real.
Last week your father taught me how to crochet... Yes, your father taught. Me. How. To. Crochet...
He is actually really good and guess who has a new hobby?
I am seriously obsessed with perfecting the art of crocheting. I am working my way up to making a blanket for you, you lucky boy!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

15 weeks 5 days

Baby boy,
Yesterday I had another Dr. appointment. It was very routine (as they will be for a while) and we got to hear your heart beat again! Since I am not showing too much, and I can't feel you move yet, hearing your heart beat is really the only thing that assures me that you are really there. And it still blows my mind.
The last time that I got to hear your heart beat with the Doppler you were bouncing everywhere and moving around and it took the Dr. a while to find your heart beat. Yesterday, as soon as the Doppler was pressed to my stomach we could instantly hear your heart beat. I guess since you are growing there is not much more room to bounce around in like you did before. Still, blows my mind.
The day after we found out that you were a boy (major highlight in my life BTW) I went to Target and bought you a cute little newborn jacket for $4. Win win. See, when you are born it should be pretty chilly (for us Arizonans anyways) so I figure that you could get some use out of it while you are still itty bitty.
So, since spilling the beans about your gender I have gotten a lot of comments and advice which I love.
One thing that most women have been talking to me about is the special bond that a baby boy and his mother have. I am very much looking forward to that special bonding and I am already dreading the day that you find another women you love to take over... but I know it has to happen. That's really all I can say about that before I sound too crazy. I promise I am not going to be a monster mother in law...
Don't worry though because I totally forgot that I already found your wife! Duh. She is a little older than you but BOY is she a cutie. Her name is Xelly and you will love her! Just you wait.
Anyways I love you baby. Keep on baking!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Oh boy...

Oh what a wonderful day it has been! 
Baby. 
Three wonderful things happened today...
First, I got an ultrasound and got to SEE you kicking and punching and it won't be long until I can FEEL you punching and kicking because...
My due date moved up a week! I am now 15 weeks and am due on January 14th.
We didn't go into the ultra sound expecting to find out what you were because it's still a little early but... during the ultrasound we got to see a little glimpse of... a... penis!
YOU ARE A BOY!!!
and your father could not be more proud! 
We are so excited and everything seems more real now.
You are SUPER healthy and handsome. 
Having three little brothers I am so used to having little boys around and I could not be more excited!!!
I love little boys! 
Lucky for you, you will be the FIRST grandchild on my side of the family
and on Steven's side you will be the oldest boy! 
Just like me... but, girl... Make sense?
Keep growing baby!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Tomorrow!

Guess what! Tomorrow we are going in to get another ultra sound. Wa hoo! Last time I got an ultra sound I was so nervous that I didn't really take time to enjoy the experience. Now, I am ready. I can't wait to see you and how much you have grown since you were 7 weeks.

So, your dad has been beyond amazing. Since I have become pregnant I have been lazier then normal... He has been cleaning, and cooking almost everyday. He makes sure that I get fed and fed well so that you will grow big and strong. Like this morning he made me eggs with potatoes and turkey bacon with half a grapefruit and a glass of chocolate milk. I love him so, so much.
See you tomorrow baby!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Lesson Learned

If I let myself go too long with out eating, I throw up.
I don't understand it...
Pregnany is so weird.

Friday, July 16, 2010

13 weeks

Oh the difference 2 weeks makes!

Well, I am growing which leads me to believe that you are growing as well and that is a very good thing!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Cravings...

As soon as I get off work I am heading straight to Dairy Queen to get myself one of these bad boys...

That looks lip smacking good!
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard get in my belly. I have not had one of these since I was 10 maaaaybe 11 and I cannot wait to devour one tonight.

Oh baby in my tummy, the things you do to me.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

How I told Steven (your dad) about you...

It has been brought to my attention that I never did share how I told Steven about you.
So, the day after I found out about you Steven and I went on a date. We did the typical movies, and dinner. We had a lot of fun.
I am going to honest. I was so scared to tell him about you and I kept putting it off "waiting for the perfect moment" because Steven LOVES plans.
Having you at this time was not in our plan and I had no idea how he would take the news.
I thought about doing something super cute and cheesy to tell him but seeing as how I wasn't sure how he was going to take it I decided to nix the idea.
It's kind of like in movies when you see a guy do this huge set up proposal to a girl and the girl had NO idea it was coming because they had never really ever discussed marriage before... The girl is caught off guard and has no idea what to do in the situation.(I hope I make a little bit of sense)and I did not want to put Steven in a situation where he felt awkward.
I decided that I would ease into it.
So as soon as we got home from our date I told Steven that he needed to sit down on the couch because I needed to talk to him.
(At this point Steven is wondering what he did wrong...)
I got up and paced around the room while Steven stared at me.
This went on for a while and I finally sat down, put my hands over my face, and said,
"Steven, I am probably pregnant."
He then smiled and said' "really?"
I asked him if he wanted to see the 5 tests I took but said no.
We then sat on the couch for a while and he wrapped his arms around me and we cried.
It took a few days for the reality of the news to really sink in. Our plans have now changed but we could not be more excited about it. If the Lord knows that we can handle a baby, why should we have any reason to doubt. He knows us better then we know ourselves and He knows what we need. We are just SO excited to be parents.

Appointment #2 (10 weeks)

Dear Baby,

Yesterday afternoon we went to our second Dr.'s appointment. It was amazing! We got to meet our Dr., Dr Bullero. She is adorable, pocket sized, and we love her.
We were also able to hear your heart beat again with a Doppler.
You were moving around SO MUCH. It took forever for the Dr to find your heart beat. Each time she would get close to hearing your heart you would kick off and swim somewhere else. We could hear the movements you were making and they made me laugh so hard. Which I am sure is one of the reasons that you kept moving. Your heart beat was a solid 163. Oh, and I gained 6 pounds on our trip...
Anyways I am so happy that you are healthy and growing and moving!

Monday, June 28, 2010

I changed my mind...

I now think that you are a girl! I am not sure what changed my mind...
So, we just got back from our traditional family vacation to Newport Beach Cali. I can't wait to take you next year. I hope that all of my boogie boarding did not bother you too much in there.
I will be 11 weeks tomorrow and my stomach is starting to expand just a bit. I don't think that anyone else can tell, but I sure can. It could just be fat though... I have been on vacation for a whole week and vacation= food. Lots of food. Speaking of food on Thursday the whole family walked down to the donut shop for breakfast. I got the usual, one maple and one chocolate long johh. But I did not stop there. I also got myself a corn dog for breakfast. My family found it quite funny but I don't understand why... These pregnancy cravings are seriously disgusting.
Well, I have my second appointment today and I am praying that I will get to hear your heart beat again!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Whatever gender you are...

...you are going to be STYLIN'








GAH! I cannot wait to see you and dress you.
It is my goal to keep to comfortable while still dressed cute. Which means no jeans. I HATE lounging in my jeans and since that is the only thing a baby does I can't imagine how uncomfortable it would be. I wish I could dress like a baby.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Morning Sickness

It happened. This morning I woke up, and ran to the bathroom to vomit. Steven was so proud. This has been by far the worst nausea I have ever had. I feel like I have been in a car that drives around and around in cricles, up and down for hours. But it's all worth it. I have heard that morning sickness is a sign of a healthy baby! I hope thats true so that there is something positive about it.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Week 8



Here is your first photo! We have other photos but this one is my favorite. Steven even has it set as the background on his cell phone.
Well, I am officially 8 weeks along!
Up to this point we have told family, friends, and Steven spilled the beans to a few co workers. It is just so hard to keep a secret like this.
The last few days have been especially hard for me. I wake up and I feel like I have been hit by a bus and I feel that way a majority of the day. I have not thrown up yet but I have been so nauseous that I wish I could throw up. Saltine crackers were my best friends for about a week. Now, I swear if I see another one I will... throw up. Which actually might not be a bad thing.
It is amazing to me how something SO SMALL (you) can cause this much craziness.

So, last night I had a dream that I went to get an ultra sound. Steven stayed home to do something unimportant (which would never happen in real life) and instead my mom came with me. We found out that you were a girl. This morning when I woke up I told Steven. He was excited because he is POSITIVE you are a girl. But I think you are a boy... although I am second guessing myself since that dream...
Anyways, you have a lot of growing to do this week! Have fun.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

First Ultra Sound- Back to 7 weeks

Dear Baby,

You really are there. Living inside of ME. I still can't believe that you are there. And healthy so far. We heard your heart beat today for the first time. It was an amazing experience. We got a few pictures of you (looking like an alien). Your heart beat was 130 and you are still just a little peanut.
Today we also found out that I was a little off in my calculating. I am ONLY 7 weeks along. Uh. It feels like this is going to last forever...
The sweetest part of the appointment (apart from hearing the heart beat) was when Steven got so excited that he took a video of your heart beating on the screen with his phone. He is so excited to be a dad. As soon as I figure out how to post a video on here,I will post it. Seriously, amazing!
So far we have only told immediate family, grandparents, and close friends the news. They are all so excited... Well except for Quinn. He thinks that once you are born he will be "old." Don't worry, he will only be 9. And I think his jealousy might have something to do with it... It is so hard to keep you a secret from everyone else because all I want to do is talk about you.
Up to this point I have been bloated, and nauseous and I have not had any consistent cravings except for Sausage McGriddles at McDonald's. It's gross, I know.
We hope and pray every day that you will grow big, healthy and strong.
I am pretty positive you are a boy. My family is really good at making boys... but Steven's is good at making girls... naturally he thinks that you are going to be a girl.
Either way we don't care what you are. We just hope that are healthy!

Friday, May 14, 2010

First Post

Dear baby,

Yesterday Steven and I almost got a dog. He was cute, so friendly, and FREE. But, no matter how much I wanted this dog I had a seriously sickening feeling that it was not the right time... I did not tell Steven this because I hoped that the feeling would not last. We talked about it a litte bit and I STILL had that horrible feeling. Then I got a feeling that I needed to get myself a pregnancy test... I did not know why this thought would occur in my head other then I have been feeling a little sick, and crampy lately. I have even been faithfully using my birth control pills...
Moving on...
Last night, just like every Thurday night, I went to watch Steven play basketball at the stake center. Every Thursday I do the same thing, Steven and I drive to the stake center together and after dropping him off I turn right back around and head to the Walgreens across the street to get myself some cherry taffy. Since I was already there I decided that I would get a cheap pregnancy test to make myself feel better.
After I got back to the stake center and I watched Steven for a while, I decided that I would try the test.
Not even a minute passed by (after I had... peed... on the stick) that a little plus sign showed up. I was shocked. I can't even begin to explain the mix of emotions that I was feeling... still am feeling... As soon as I fished up I got up and started pacing aroung the church, shaking. I didn't know what to do. I went back into watch the game but I couldn't focus and I started feeling sick. My shaking was out of control and I told Steven that I wanted to go home. I told him that I was sick because I ate too many sweets, and that I was shaking because I was cold...
On our way home he looked at me and said,
"Emily, we should not get that dog." In that moment I felt peace because as soon as I saw that positive pregnancy test I knew that I did not want a dog but I didn't know how to explain it to him... Unfortunatly immidiatly following his remark about not wanting the dog he followed up with his reason why he didn't want the dog,
"We can't afford a dog right now. It is too expensive"... If only he knew...

I am planning on telling him tonight. But for right now you are my little seceret... Plus I am REALLY nervous to tell him.

P.S. I don't want you to feel like we don't want you. We do. I want to be a mom more than anything and I am grateful for my fertile body! I just had no idea it would be this soon and I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around it. Plus, I am so scared. I am still just a kid... I am not ready to be a mom.

According to a thing online I am about 8 weeks along and my due date is 12/26/2010. I have a doctors appointment on the 24th of this month to confirm...